Growing An Old Friend

Wednesday, a beautiful sunset, portent for a good day tomorrow. K will be here.
It has been two years, but this time, between Tucson and Cumberland, we are a stopover on her journey.

Thursday afternoon. She's here! First things first, Bobby needs to be walked. Even though it can be years between visits, he always knows where he is.

Around the pond, into the shade. Already we're talking, talking, talking - beginning the hours of catching up. "Your friend is your needs answered." (Khalil Gibran)

July, 2009, when her husband was still alive and the Knotty Pine was still a restaurant, Bud took this photo of the three of us. Kristina and I have been friends since Gene introduced us to one another in the late 70's.

After sharing her with Bud for a couple hours, Kristina and I sat on the deck and had one of the best, most far ranging, meaningful conversations we've had for some time. We talked about retirement, aging, and the fears of dementia, remembering our mothers and their final years. We talked about relationships, past, present and future? How our lives have unfolded and how fortunate we were to be born to the parents we had, during the era we lived - and that we both grew up in the Midwest.

We talked about friendships, heart shaped rocks, books, whatever came to mind. "The language of friendship is not words but meanings." (Henry David Thoreau) 
Around 7:30 I suggested, "maybe we should eat something"? I went in to fix a light supper, she went to walk Bobby. When some time passed and K didn't come in, I went out to look for her; nowhere in sight down by the pond. I went out front and didn't see her, though there was a group of neighbors gathered down the street. I came in and jokingly told Bud I thought she had decamped to the neighbor's circle.
I waited. Then went out to look for her again. From several houses away, the group of people began waving at me. Then I saw Bobby.

Oh, how funny, she was in the neighbor's circle! She and Bobby had walked around the corner and they greeted her, got her a chair and began with the inquisitive questions; wanting to know just who this was in their community.

Yesterday morning started with coffee on the deck but a passing shower sent us to the covered patio where we could stay dry and admire the rocks she brought me.

This is the wash where K and Bobby take their daily morning walk. I went on that walk with her a few years ago and came back with two plastic grocery sacks of rocks. It is a rock hound's dream ground - one she has insisted we visit this coming winter. We must go. (It could be my last time for a long road trip.)

So when she asked me if I wanted my present now or later, I *knew* she had brought me a special rock. I was right. It is the one on the right. Kristina has a thing for heart shaped rocks and has quite a collection of them. But this one is the heart she found on December 16, 2003 - the day my Mom died. I remember when she and Gene came to stay with us on the farm the following year. How she and I hugged and how I felt that it was finally safe (and right and real) to cry.

Then the bonus of the other two rocks, a small piece of quartz, a rock we both love, and the amazing specimen on the left. Yes, it is also (slightly) heart-shaped, but I love it for its color (so Southwest) and the layers of shapes on the front. I don't know who among my children/grandchildren is going to care about my rocks when I'm gone, but I want them to know their provenance.

Today, K will be back in her homeland of Wisconsin among childhood friends, cousins and her aunt. Her brother will soon join her from his home in Sweden. They will spend time in the cabin in the woods she helped her father build. She will wrestle with, perhaps find answers for, the questions about her future...whatever she decides, just so long as it includes me.

"It takes a long time to grow an old friend." (John Leonard)