Almost all of those notebooks I bought over the years were turned into my journals.
A Spiral Notebook By Ted Kooser
The bright wire rolls like a porpoise
in and out of the calm blue sea
of the cover, or perhaps like a sleeper
twisting in and out of his dreams,
for it could hold a record of dreams
if you wanted to buy it for that,
though it seems to be meant for
more serious work, with its cover
that states in emphatic white letters,
5 SUBJECT NOTEBOOK. It seems
a part of growing old is no longer
to have five subjects, each
demanding an equal share of attention,
set apart by brown cardboard dividers,
but instead to stand in a drugstore
and hang on to one subject
a little too long, like this notebook
you weigh in your hands, passing
your fingers over its surfaces
as if it were some kind of wonder.
On the first of those brown cardboard dividers, I had stylishly written "Le Cahier Jaune" - "The Yellow Notebook". I had been reading Jennie - The Life of Lady Randolph Churchill about Jennie Jerome Churchill (Winston Churchill's mother) and read that she kept a yellow journal referred to as 'Le Cahier Jaune'. How could I not name mine the same?
The first section was a record of the end of '72 and the year of '73 - when I turned 30 in November. The second cardboard divider did not have a name and only five entries - three in January and two in April.
Section three was labeled "Thoughts" and had only one half page entry. It began: "Sometimes I think there is nothing better than the honesty of a cup of hot tea."
Section four, "Poems" contained five poems I had written, one of which was:
The Art of Being
Be still.
Quiet. Stop the racing mind and
Pacing feet.
Don't think for moments.
Give yourself back to you.
Troubling it out
Won't help,
Just confuse.
Let peace and quiet
Creep back in.
Then, then you will
Be able to understand
What it is. What to do.
Quiet, peace,
Being, Transcend.
Section five was labeled "Affairs" and had one line: "Preserving herself in the amber of solitude."
There are pleasant memories in this journal but also two very sad entries. The first in December when my brother Ron and his wife had their first child. Jennifer Lynn lived only three days. The following October our sister Betty died of a cerebral hemorrhage at age 28. There are only two entries in '74 and one in '77 when I put the yellow notebook aside and began a new journal - a pattern I would continue over the years.
A quick count shows at least ten incomplete notebooks laying around including the one I took with me to Ireland and one designated as my Spiritual Journey Journal. If I combined them all one or two of those five subjects notebooks would probably have held everything I wrote during those thirty some years.