Not the Holidays I had Planned

Two weeks ago today I had a noticeable pain in my right hip bone - no big deal, I'd had pains like that many times. The next morning, the Sunday before Christmas, I awoke around five in excruciating pain in my right hip. It felt like my hip was on fire. After taking some naproxen and rubbing some topical pain relief on my back/hip, the pain subsided somewhat. I got online to try and figure out what could cause such a sudden onset of pain.
As nearly as I could self-diagnose, I had a case of sciatica. At first I didn't think that was what it was because my Dad used to complain of sciatica and he said the pain shot from his back all the way down through his leg. Mine didn't. It pretty much stayed in the hip area. I could get some relief during the day but each morning the pain was severe again. I could stay on my feet fifteen or twenty minutes and then it was back to the recliner.
Christmas Day was just another day for us, albeit one of pain for me. But our holiday get-togethers were scheduled for the weekend after Christmas, so I had hopes I'd be feeling better. From what I read online, the sciatica could last anywhere from one to two weeks.
One day I would feel better and the next morning I would feel worse again. Finally I made the decision to call the kids and tell them I wasn't going to be able to attend nor host our planned festivities. Bummer. Seeing the kids, grand kids and great grands are what matters to me. Luckily we had been with them all in November.
The sciatica finally went away the day after New Year's. I was able to go back to the Y Thursday and Friday and get back into my normal workout which includes five miles on the bike and a mile walk on the treadmill, plus some weights. Much as I dislike working out, it felt good to be back to my routine.
The worst part of any illness or any type of discombobulation for me is always the depression. I am not a patient patient. I don't do well with having to ask somebody for help - or even accept help freely given. For some reason I need to do everything for myself. When I can't, when I am faced with "What if I'm always going to feel like this?", I get depressed.
And each time I do pull out of it and start feeling better, I swear I'm going to do all those things I feel like I need to have done (cleaning, sorting, clearing out, designating bequests, etc.) before any final illness/disability does occur. The years haven't lessened my need to be in control, they've only made it stronger. I know this is an attitude I must adjust, but I'm not making any New Year's resolutions about it.