"What You Don't Know.......

Can't Hurt You." That was one of my sweet Mama's sayings. I'm trying and failing to remember an instance when she used it.
I can think of times when that is true, though - the worst being when you hear someone you love has died. One minute your world is hunky-dory; the next it is spinning out of control.
I had a double whammy when Dad died. I wasn't home when Mom called with the news. Doug talked to her then called me. When he said Mom had called and that Grandpa had died. I assumed he misunderstood. Dad's Mother, my Grandma, had been in ill health and expected to die. I just thought he heard wrong. I waited awhile before calling my Mom back - thinking about my Grandma Lynam and her long life and how I would miss her.
Finally I called Mom, told her the kids had called me to let me know, asked her how Dad was taking the death of his Mother. "Ramona. It was your Dad that died." Suddenly what I knew hurt very much.
I think about famous people - how their lives are scrutinized every minute; how the paparazzi hounds them looking for that perfect shot worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to a tabloid - all the better if the photo can be misconstrued and used to make it look like the subject is involved in something sleazy. I would not want to be famous.
Or the politicians who the minute they announce they are running for an office are vetted by the dirt diggers. (Nor would I run for office.) Or the performers who are trashed by the media if they sing one wrong note or forget a line. No wonder so many of them say, "I don't read the reviews."
Mom had another saying about the only ones who can really hurt you are the ones you care about. And isn't that true? It can even be done thoughtlessly; innocently. Early in my relationship with my new sister-in-law, Ruthie, she asked if I had seen something funny on the Johhny Carson show. My reply was something like, "No, I never watch that crap, fool, idiot" --insert your own epithet.
I didn't know it until years later but I had hurt her very much. By criticizing something she enjoyed, I had inadvertently criticized her intelligence in choosing what to watch. She got even though in the same way - innocently - when she made some remark about how OLD one of the guys I dated was. I think she simply said he was the same age as my Mother. I took it wrong; got so mad at her I was heading for my car; probably would never have talked to her again. Bless her for grabbing my arm, actually restraining me, and saying, "You're not leaving! We are going to talk this out."
It used to be easy not to be hurt by things we didn't know, we never heard them. Now, in this instant communication age we live in, it is almost impossible to not know everything - from the local and national news to what appears on Facebook or is Tweeted or Blogged. One person's unintentionally hurtful remarks can cause someone else pain.
From the time I was little and teased by the other kids my way of dealing has been to withdraw back into my comfortable shell. I have always appreciated my own company. Only caring about others do I get hurt.
There were times in my life when I felt as though I was smarter than my Mom. I had more education. I had been out there in the world where reality occurred. Deep down I always knew though that by far she was the wisest.