Sunday, February 20, 2011

Newton's First Law of Motion

"Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." (Sir Isaac Newton 1642-1727)

Inertia: The resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest.

Laziness: A disinclination to an activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so.

Procrastination: Replacing actions of higher priority with tasks of lower priority in order to put off doing the higher priority items. (Finishing a book instead of doing the dishes?)

Guilty, guilty, guilty. I have always been one to put off doing anything I didn't like to do until someone/something made me do it.

Pain and lack of use of my left arm have compelled me to have shoulder replacement surgery. I thought scheduling the surgery and the knowledge that "things could go wrong" were enough to make me "get my affairs in order" just in case.

Old habits die hard. Instead of sorting, donating and throwing out, I have opted to believe all will go well and I will still have plenty of time to figure out what to do with my 'stuff' later. Besides, trying to decide who gets what was keeping me awake at night. I did get rid of so much before we moved, but I still have way too many things.

And too many of the things that I feel are most important to impart are the ones that no one in the family knows the history of or the value I place upon them. (A ring that was given to me by my Grandmother Lynam that was given to her by her Grandmother Richardson. The blanket box that belonged to my Great Grandmother Means. The 'Water Lily' quilt my Mom made before her marriage and her diary and pen. Dad's 'shoe' knife. My baby bank. How do I decide which of my children or grandchildren or nieces or nephews will be the right one to entrust with which heirloom? It is so much easier to decide the giving of jewelry, china and collectibles I have acquired than it is the items that belonged to my parents and grandparents.

I may still write down some bequests before my surgery - "just in case". But what I really need to do is find the will or external force which will make me do all the sorting, donating, throwing (and story telling) after I recover from my surgery and my arm is working again. It may be the denial that life is finite that keeps me from doing what I need to. i.e.: As long as I don't do anything, I will still have the time to do it.

The biggest fear is not dying. It is the "not knowing" what happens in the lives of my loved ones after I am gone. Live long. Love well.

1 comment:

  1. I am definitely guilty cubed as well. I'd say when you are through with the surgery call (with which I wish you all the best, Ramona!) call in some family members--or better yet, friends--and ask them to help you do the sorting. Make sure you share your worries about decisions with them in advance.

    Meanwhile, don't worry about it all. The fact that you ARE guilty in the Newtonian sense doesn't mean you have to FEEL guilty.