How often does it happen that we think about something or someone we haven't thought about in a long time and in the next day or two what/who we thought about is heard from or seen?
Yesterday the phrase "Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" went through my mind. In what context I can't even remember. But it had been so long since I'd heard that phrase I wasn't even certain I was remembering it correctly. I made a mental note to google it to see what the exact phrasing was and its meaning. Of course, I forgot to do that, too.
So this afternoon I'm comfortably ensconced in my reading corner, reading away when this line appears: "And then she thought that since she'd gone so far -- in for a penny, in for a pound, as Aunt Elizabeth liked to say, or, more ominously, as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb -- she might as well request a photograph of Jane Henkel, too."
It's an old English proverb dating back as far as 1678. It's a justification or excuse for going on to commit some greater offense once one has already committed some minor one. It can also mean that once one has already become involved in some incident or affair, one might as well commit oneself entirely.
Now if I could only remember why I thought of the phrase in the first place......
I lived on an acreage NW of Urbandale from May, 1969 until May, 1978. Kari was born the day after we moved there; Preston was born while we lived there; Denny & I were divorced while we lived there and I continued living there with the kids until a week after my Dad died.
Over the years I have dreamed that I moved back to that acreage. The dreams have all been different, but they have all been unsettling - like there's something strangely menacing about being back in that house; something not right.
Last night's dream involved two plane crashes - the first one to crash into the kitchen-breezeway-garage part of the house was like a 727. Everyone on board was killed, but I/we survived. The next plane was one of those jumbo jets that holds 300 or more people. It crashed further out - around where the barn used to be and into that field. Again, everyone was killed.
Then it was like I was describing the crashes to someone - a homeland security agent or some such. Both crashes were replaying as I described them but we were hidden in some bushes in the grove as we watched. It was obvious they were terrorist attacks and that we were in danger of being caught by terrorists on the ground.
That's when I awoke. I wonder why my dreams of that place are always so unsettling. Do I have an unconscious guilt about something that happened when I lived there? Do I feel I left something unfinished there that I have to keep going back? Why is it always that house and none of the others where I've lived? And are the saying and dream anyway related?
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