Fathers and Daughters

Every little girl looks up to her daddy. In my case, I had to look way up, Louis L. Lynam was six foot six. He was so tall and skinny as a young man, one of his nicknames just had to be "Slim".
Dad was 26 when I was born and I was 34 when he died at a young 61 years of age.
Growing up I wanted to be 'daddy's girl' but my little sister held that spot. At least I always felt that way. Mom told me that Dad had named her, (Betty Ruth) so I naturally thought that meant she was his favorite. But then I had been jealous of her from the time she was born and took over my spot as the baby.
Mom was in charge of child care including discipline. Dad would yell at us, but spankings were left to her. I can remember only one time Dad struck me and that was after I had been told twice to stay off the straw stacks. The first time was when we had been climbing up and sliding down the stack east of the barn. Bro & Sissy paid attention, but a few days later a cousin and I walked up to the other place and started playing on the straw stack up there. We were out of sight of the home place, so even though I knew we were breaking a rule, I felt confident we would not get caught. I didn't realize Dad was mowing the pasture north of us and could see us until he yelled.
We high-tailed it home. I figured I was in for another lecture when he came into the house and said, "Didn't I tell you to stay off the straw stacks?" At the same time, he slapped my face, saying, "Now that didn't hurt, but if I catch you on those stacks again, next time it's going to hurt!" I thought, "Like heck that didn't hurt," but I was so shocked that he had hit me that I didn't even cry.
Mostly what I remember about my father is that he never complimented me no matter what I accomplished. When I was in highschool, he gave me a silver dollar for every A I earned on my report cards, but he never said, "Good job."
On the other hand, my sister and I were often compared unfavorably to neighbor girls: "Why can't you be more like J & D or C & V? Not the sort of words you need to hear for self esteem building.
I never went to college. I started working as a bookkeeper at age 17. Through the years I worked my way up to such positions as assistant to the controller of a manufacturing firm, office manager of a recording studio and Public Relations Director for the College of Osteopathic Medicine and Surgery. Not once did my Dad ever say he was proud of me; of what I had accomplished.
By the time I was 31, I had been married and divorced twice. (Dad did let me know how he felt about that!) I married men my age, but I was attracted to men much older. I said it was because they were smarter and more mature; denied for a long time that it was a father fixation.
After many years, I was finally able to understand that what I was looking for from those men old enough to be my father, was the approval I never received from him.
I hope fathers out there realize how important it is for them to tell their daughters (and sons) how much they love them and are proud of them. Children look up to their fathers no matter how tall Dad is.