Sunday, July 16, 2017

Changing My Mind Back Again

At first this post was going to be about paying my respects, then it was going to be about paying homage, now it is a little bit of both.

Paying homage - to my Grandma Bessie whose birthdate this is. Larkspur, meaning lightness, is the flower for July and Ruby is the birthstone. Grandma wore a ruby all the time I can remember. It was her engagement ring.
Grandma and Grandpa Lynam (with daugher-in-law, Ruth, and three grandchildren, Ronald, Betty and me) on their acreage with a view of northwest Corning on the hill east of them (1945).

It was as I was looking in my diaries (1956-1961) on this date to see what I might have written then about Grandma's birthday that I decided to go back to my first idea...

Paying my respects. These two women were once my sisters-in-law. After their brother and I divorced I never had much contact with them until the last few years when I reconnected with the youngest, Sherry, on Facebook. But even when we once again lived in the same town, I never did see Marjo. Yesterday was her funeral.
I went to the family visitation out of respect, but also to again see these two boys who once were favorite nephews. I have reconnected with the oldest, Alan, via my son's (their cousin) birthday three years ago followed up by becoming Facebook friends, but I haven't seen David since he was about ten.

When I walked into the funeral home at first I didn't see anyone I recognized, then back in the corner I saw a man I was sure had to be David - and it was. It was so good to see and hug him again. Alan came in a few minutes later - another hug as he called me one of my favorite endearments, Auntie. To still be thought of as his auntie means the world to me.

Picture of Alan, Marjo, Danise and David scanned from the funeral program. These three are her remaining children. I can't imagine losing one child, let alone three as she had.

And the diary entry that made me change my mind back again to writing about Marjo? Sunday, July 16, 1961: "Left (Kenny's home) at 5:00 a.m., there (Marjo and Danny's in Kansas City) at 8:00 a.m. Took kids (Alan and David) to Swope Park Zoo." Fifty-six years and I still remember that day. Had I read this diary entry before yesterday I might have asked those boys if they remembered it too.

It is Sherry's Facebook profile picture of her and Marjo that I borrowed to post above. She was also there yesterday. We recognized one another thanks to 'seeing' each other on Facebook, but it was the first time to see her in person probably since Kenny's funeral in 1980 - and I don't remember talking with any of the family that day.

My son, Douglas, bears the family name and is my link to these former in-laws. Time will eventually heal some of the sadness over the death of their sister and mother. Time has healed some of the acrimony of divorce - I am very grateful for that.

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