Search This Blog

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Happy 25th Birthday Bud

Each year of a recovering alcoholic's sobriety is celebrated as a birthday (for their spiritual rebirth). Today I gave Bud this AA chip for his 25th birthday. This is another reason I am so proud of him.
According to Shakespeare, "The course of true love never did run smooth." That was certainly true with Bud and me. There were so many ups and downs, break ups and getting back together, I lost count. Even after I moved back to West Des Moines we still saw each other once in awhile. He spent Halloween weekend with us then told me the following week he was moving to Arizona. I accepted I would never see him again.
I went to Corning the weekend before my birthday. When I saw a friend of Bud's I asked him if Bud had left for Arizona. He said, "No, he's still around." So I called him to talk but he didn't want to talk and hung up on me. Later in the day he called back and apologized. He told me he was checking into the Veterans Hospital in Knoxville the next day for substance abuse treatment.
Suddenly all those fights, misunderstandings and breakups began to make sense.
The following Tuesday I drove to Knoxville to see him for his 39th birthday. I was elated; couldn't wait to see him; thought everything would work out for us now. I remember he was doing his laundry. We talked there until he was done, then went outside and sat on some bleachers. He was painfully honest with me, telling me that while he still cared for me, he couldn't promise anything. "All I can be is your friend. If you can be my friend, that is what I need."
I drove home with a heavy heart. I wanted him to love me and not in a platonic way. I gave a lot of thought that week to whether or not I could see him only as "a friend". On Saturday I drove back to Knoxville and told him I wanted to be his friend. I believed my love for him was strong enough to help me see him that way than not at all.
The path of our true love began to run more smoothly after that. A year later we married. Only once in our 24 years was I afraid he was going to begin using again. We had a fight and he walked out of the house. I just knew he was going to come home drunk. I wondered what I would do if he did. I needn't have worried.

Today I wish my best friend happy 25th birthday!

No comments:

Post a Comment