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Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Thinker

"I think, therefore I am." Descartes
Discussing one of the characters during book club last night led into some comments about how some babies have a way of looking/staring as though they were thinking the deepest thoughts in the world; so knowing, so questioning, so thinking. (Then someone laughed and said: "Yeah, but they get over it by the time they are teenagers!)
I have long been fascinated by the way the mind works. I believe some of us were born 'thinkers'. As a child, my Mom used to say to me: "Quit your moping." And I would reply: "I'm not moping. I'm thinking." By dictionary definitions we were both right. I thought she meant I was 'dejected' when actually I was 'brooding'.
While my older brother and younger sister were more inclined to having fun, I was the one who took everything more seriously. If I ever did try teasing other kids, I instantly regretted it because I was afraid I had hurt their feelings. Perhaps it was because I was the middle child, but I was always the responsible one and the 'peacemaker'.
Once I started to school and learned to read I discovered a whole world of things to think about. I became not only a thinker, but a daydreamer. It took me a half hour or more to walk the mile home from school because I was dawdling along, thinking about the bird tracks or snake trail in the dust; the fairy tales I had read during free reading time; the chores I had to do when I got home; how the teacher had bawled out one of the older boys for acting up; why my friend Virginia had played with one of the other girls instead of me during recess.
When my first marriage was coming apart and I was trying to explain to my parents how I felt and why I wanted to take my little boy and leave, my Dad said: "Your problem is you think too much!" Like it was a bad thing. I see it as a good thing. I am glad I was a born thinker.

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